Sometimes We Need Others to Reflect Us Back to Ourselves

Sometimes it takes the reflections of others for us to truly see ourselves.

This week, I had several conversations with friends, family members, and even beloved former clients. Some were brief exchanges, while others were deeper conversations. Each one offered a reflection of how I had impacted them at some point in their lives.

This isn't an attempt to brag or self-promote. Rather, it's about the small moments that helped me reconnect with my confidence. My hope is that it encourages you to notice those moments in your own life, too. They are there—sometimes hidden, sometimes easy to overlook—but they are there.

One of the things I learned while taking a somatic touch course is that sometimes a gentle touch—a hand on someone's shoulder or knee, always with consent—is exactly what a person needs to feel just a little more settled. We learned about the importance of touch before surgery and during stressful moments. Ever since, whenever my medically complex son goes in for a procedure, I make sure he receives a heartfelt hug or a regulating touch from me. It helps him, but if I'm honest, it helps me too. There is something deeply meaningful about being present for someone when they are scared or uncertain.

It's often the little, subtle things that create the biggest shifts, and noticing them requires us to slow down.

If you've ever left a positive review for a new business, you probably moved on with your day without thinking much of it. But that review may have made a nervous business owner's heart sing. It may have been the encouragement they needed to keep going through the scary and uncertain moments that come with building something from the ground up.

Putting aside our own egos, insecurities, or even jealousy, and stepping into the role of someone else's cheerleader is exactly what we need more of right now. Sometimes I don't feel like doing that. Sometimes I don't have the capacity. That's human, and that's okay. But when I slow down, reconnect with myself, and create more capacity in my body, I find that I am much more able to offer support and encouragement. The ripple effects of that kindness can last far longer than we realize.

These recent conversations with friends, family, and former clients reminded me how deeply I love the work I do and how important it is to step more fully into spaces that are open to hearing about it. The writing, the intuitive coaching, the somatic therapy, the art therapy, the Compassionate Inquiry, and so much more.

Over the years, I have gathered countless trainings, teachings, and experiences. What I hadn't fully realized was that they weren't only helping me heal—they were changing me in ways that benefited the people around me.

As I began feeling safer in the world, my nervous system became more settled. And when we feel safe, we gain greater access to our brains, our creativity, our executive functioning, and our ability to truly listen. We become more capable of holding space for another person's pain without needing to fix it.

What inspired me to write this was the surprise I felt hearing from people I love that there were times in my life when I believed I wasn't doing a very good job—as a therapist, daughter, sister, friend, or human being—and yet, somehow, I was making a difference anyway.

Not because I had all the answers.

Not because I was perfect.

But because I was committed to my own healing, and that healing naturally became something I shared with others through my presence, my listening, and my willingness to show up.

So if you're feeling low, wondering whether you're enough, remember this:

You may never fully know the impact you've had on someone else's life.

You may never hear about the moment your words gave someone hope, your kindness helped them keep going, or your presence made them feel less alone.

But those moments matter.

You matter.

We all have times when we feel inadequate or unseen. Yet we rarely get to witness the full extent of how our presence affects others.

Keep being kind. Keep being curious. Keep showing up.

The world doesn't need more perfect people. It needs more people willing to be present with one another.

And together, we'll make it through these challenging times.