Fear, Anxiety, and finding pockets of peace:

I was recently on a radio show and was asked what we can do to help us through these difficult times in America,  from a therapeutic standpoint. There I was, a trauma expert asked to be on the show due to that, and I blanked when asked, “How do we get through this?” I looked at the guest who asked me the question, fear in my eyes. The answer is, I don’t know. This is beyond comprehension. This is an extreme, inhumane situation, and it’s normal for the mind to reject such a reality, but the mind these days are pummelled with horrific images, so horror becomes day to day. The “this” he refers to is everything: shootings of unarmed people, an ongoing event our black and brown communities have experienced for years, but that some of us are now (and finally) seeing more clearly. The “this” is the statements in the Epstein files, pictures showing innocence and evil in one snapshot. We can try to look away, and that might help us get through the day, but our bodies still feel anxiety because our inner alarms sense danger. We can look away, but we still know: money helps criminals stay in office, untrained agents can shoot people and face no consequences. We feel it in the air. We are often encouraged in therapy to sit with our feelings rather than bury them. What do we do with this ongoing dread, anxiety, and fear? It’s constant. Right now, I'm trying to figure out how to handle staying informed and engaged even when my instinct, at times, is to hide under the covers. The trick is finding a balance between keeping up with what's happening and making sure I still get those small, quiet moments to just notice the stillness. The survivors of the Epstein files have no choice, though, no cover to hide under; we have to support and be aware, to some degree. They deserve at least that, you know? Then, many of my clients struggle with this: what if these news stories bring up my own trauma and worsen symptoms I’ve worked to heal? Do I still need to stay up to date on all the details and updates?

The answers aren’t all on Instagram, from your therapist, or in any trendy wellness solution. It’s not about copying others’ rituals but finding comfort in what brings you peace, or finding your own rituals. Maybe it’s noticing the quiet in your kitchen at 7am or remembering times you felt safe with loved ones. Our bodies need more evidence of safety and connection. If smiling at someone at the counter is your moment of peace, that’s enough. Let people into your lane, literally while driving, and figuratively let people in more. Connect more, compete less. The powerful want us to detach and live in fear. Don’t let them. Sing in the shower, blast your favorite song, hug longer, even if it’s awkward. Attend community gatherings, support friends, show up for each other. Also, you can just go to the movies with friends and notice how good that feels, too; you don’t have to feel bad or fight all the time. You need rest so you can build more capacity and fight another day for human rights.

There is also healing in advocacy. When one advocates, they are fighting for what is right. We are at a place in our country where fighting for what is right is really about fighting for morally correct ways of being human beings together on this floating round planet. We are fighting for equality, fighting for basic human rights, fighting for little Liam, fighting for Silverio Villegas González, Renee Good, Jaime Alanis, Roberto Carlos Montoya Valdez, Jose Castro-Rivera, Isaias Sanchez Barboza, Keith Porter, Alex Pretti, and the others we aren’t aware of, yet. We are fighting for the Epstein survivors, whom I will not name because they were named once without permission. A wound very close to my heart, having your personal trauma exposed in a public arena.

I’ve found myself losing empathy for those responsible for harm and violence, something I never thought would happen. When I was called to my child’s elementary school as ICE circled the block with guns out, teachers reported kids crying. My son, who has his own struggles, processed with me after how helpless kids felt, how the younger kids just kept crying no matter how much the adults tried to soothe them. We talk about school shootings and safety, but now there’s even more to worry about.

I noticed a shift in myself when I was repeatedly trained to watch out for my neighbors. Armed with only a whistle, I felt a little more empowered, even though others had military-style weapons.

When I protested with my husband at Broadview, I could feel something in the air, something new, something I had never felt in my body before. It was a mixture of devastation, betrayal, fear, and fight. A feeling that sticks with me to this day.

So, what do we do to help ourselves through this time? Support protests if you can, and also give your heart some peace. Some days, you’ll have more energy for activism, other days you’ll need more rest. Notice your limits and fill up on small good things. Most of us can’t escape with a big vacation, and even if we could, it might not feel right. But we can smile at neighbors and loved ones, hug a little longer, show up for the kids, and cheer them on. They can’t take our hearts or souls. We have to keep going, keep fighting, keep loving, and trust that good will win.

Jenny Korotko ATR, LCPC, SEP

Chicago Trauma Therapist and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner